Busy Little Bee

It is my firm belief that the world is divided into those who plan, and those who play. Play their life out like everyday is a new beginning and every hour a gift that just popped into their life’s inbox. Obviously, I’m a planner.

This characteristic has caused me some heartache in the past, with friends taking offence to me ‘pencilling’ them into my diary a week or more in advance. My argument: such premeditation shows how important they are to me. I want to ensure that I’ll have time to see them and that months won’t fly past without a catch-up, coffee or telephone conversation shared. And the reason I pencil? In theory because it allows them to change their plans if needs be… Sadly, in reality it is often me doing the event-shuffling.

I’m not a piker by nature, although I have been known to cancel nights out in favour of the couch. But I’d never cancel on a friend specifically… I’d never leave someone hanging at the club’s doorway unless I was sure they were safely surrounded by other (more reliable) mates. That’s honourable enough, isn’t it?

No, it’s not that I’m flaky; it’s just that I’m a realist. I know that some of my nearest and dearest are prone to making that last minute phone call (or even sending a character-killing text), whereby they say, for whatever reason, that they are no longer able to meet up. So, sometimes – more often than I’ll admit to them – I double book. And sometimes, this bites me in the behind.

Last Saturday I scheduled myself six-consecutive catch-ups, and I ended up cancelling on two of them. While the friends in question weren’t at all put out, I felt like a failure. I cursed the London transport system for not being able to get me from A to P to S to Z in less than 30 seconds... And then a friend (who I had managed to squeeze into my day) commented that I shouldn’t feel guilty, that I always over-extend myself, and that if I continued like I have been going, I was going to burn out. Actually, two friends I saw that day said the same thing.

So, am I a failure? Or am I too ‘nice’ (her word not mine)? Is it better not to put people in your diary at all, for fear that you might not be able to make it to the ball on time? I’d like to think that I will honour all commitments to the best of my ability and that if a friend is in need I’ll find a way to get myself by their side (London Underground be damned!), but even in today’s rush-rush world it’s just not possible to be in two places at once.

I suppose that’s a good memo for me to stick on my calendar!