No sugar and little spice, isn’t very nice

Okay, okay, I know. Fad diets are bad. But that doesn’t stop us getting desperate and hoping without hope that the next one we try will actually work. So, last week I tried another one.

After two months of ‘regular exercise and eating right’ (as in low fat, low sugar, good amounts of protein and lots of veges and legumes) I still hadn’t lost any weight. And my jeans didn’t feel like they were swimming on me, so I argue that my measurements hadn’t changed that much either. When told about a new fang-dangly ‘detox-diet’ I thought, “What the heck? May as well.” I’ve tried them all. Beyonce’s Lemonade Diet – where you don’t eat for 10 days and only drink a concoction of freshly-squeezed lemon juice, purified water, cayenne pepper and organic maple syrup – was by far the most enlightening. Unexplainably I had more energy than I’ve ever had. Like I was doped-up on speed… Perhaps my starving body was going a little gah-gah?

This new one cut out all additives – no salt and no sugar – but allowed balsamic vinegar. So before lunchtime I could eat all the fruit my heart desired (except bananas), on the menu for lunch was white fish with salad or steamed vegetables dosed in balsamic, and dinner, just veges, again covered in black gold. No legumes, no meat, no lemon juice (that’d be like having fruit after 12pm!).

The first three days went along fine. I felt full, if not a little sad that I was missing out on yogurt and morning bran flakes with cinnamon (note: cinnamon helps balance your blood sugar so I add it to cereal and tea to quench cravings). But come Friday I was a woman on the edge. My poor flatmate had to listen to me moan about the lack of sweetness in my life – it’s amazing how cutting out sugar can turn your smile upside down.

Never one to want to give up, I pushed on until Saturday night. Then I caved with a lovely glass of Tempranillo, and a poached egg on multigrain courtesy of a girlfriend desperate for me to start eating normally again. With a little salt and pepper, it was the best darn sandwich I’ve ever tasted.

While definitely not sustainable, I did learn a few things from my week on lean-greens, they be:

Fruit is not the enemy, but should be eaten on its own to help your body digest it, and stick to the types higher in Vitamin C (like oranges, mandarins and berries); and that

Balsamic vinegar works just like soy sauce in terms of adding flavour to your meal, but has none of the sodium so detrimental to a happy heart.

But bring on the red meat baby and gimme gimme gimme a cup of tea with milk!