Way back in November 2007 I posted a blog about fad diets and detoxing – I was coming out of yet another lose-weight-quick scheme in preparation for my first trip back to Oz; then in March of last year I tried hypnosis, in the hopes it would finally kick my craze of dieting and food-guilt. It’s now January 2009 (exactly two months, to the day, until I arrive back in Sydney) and lo and behold I’m once again tipping the scales and hoping for a miracle.It’s not that I’m huge (I know that), it’s just that I feel swollen. I’m not a victim of the Heathrow-injection either, because I was about this size when I moved here from New York two years ago… I’m just a girl who likes her exercise, and her chocolates and biscuits too!
I try running, I try yoga; I mix detox with pleasure. I attempt moderation and when I don’t see results, I ultimately ‘research’ the latest (and greatest) in slimming sensations. And while I promise myself time and again that I won’t buy into another diet pill or weight loss tea, the truth is in my bank statements and another fad diet bites the dust.
My one constant – and true London love – is Beautcamp Pilates. Thrice-weekly classes put a smile on my face and pump endorphins through my veins. My instructors inspire me and the girls I sweat with encourage me; in this case, obsession loves company.
But with only three weeks left before Boyfriend and I take off for our travels I’m sad (and scared) that without drastic measures I won’t fit into the dresses I’ve already bought for our friends’ weddings when we get back. While Bride Wars is not exactly a film for the ages, Kate Hudson’s desperate voice plays over in my mind: You don’t alter a Vera Wang to fit you; you alter yourself to fit Vera! And while my dresses aren’t Vera’s, Chloé and Doo Ri deserve similar respect.
Following the mantra Eat Less, Move More, while also enlisting the services of a personal trainer to kick my butt each Thursday with an hour-long weight session from hell, I’m hoping to shift an ambitious 5 kilos (that’s 11lbs for my English and American readers). According to my new PT, weight sessions that incorporate cardio (think circuit training with weights) burn twice the calories than cardio machines alone, as your ravaged muscles continue to burn hours after you’ve thrown in the towel. If last Thursday’s session was anything to go by, I believe him. It’s Monday morning and I’m still walking down stairs like a woman who’s just given birth!
Last night as my eyelids drooped and I prepared for bed, I caught a glimpse of British hypnotist, Paul McKenna, on his TLC program, I Can Make You Thin. Among other mind over matter techniques, McKenna espouses four home-truths about how thin people stay slim – and they don’t sound that crazy:
1. When You Are Hungry, Eat
2. Eat What You Want, Not What You Think You Should
3. Eat Consciously And Enjoy Every Mouthful
4. When You Think You Are Full, Stop Eating
So we’ll see how this one goes.
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